when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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