so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
