this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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