How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
