omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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