sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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