I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
