Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize