Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
