Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
