Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
