i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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