I'm drive I can fine osifer
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
