Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
