I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize