I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize