Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
a search helicopter?!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
