I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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