My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
