Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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