It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
