do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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