why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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