Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The best revenge is premature balding
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
