I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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