is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize