question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
