Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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