You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
