do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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