well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
