There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize