just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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