O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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