I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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