Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
