So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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