That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
