Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
