when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
