No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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