The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
