need another drink. this is the easiest way
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
