Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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