She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
