I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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