haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
