hotel room ftw
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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