Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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