last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
