Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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