Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
