belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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