It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
