Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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