I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
