walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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