I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
