Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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