drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize