I will die if light touches me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
